I have to keep reminding myself that I’m lucky — I have options, and I don’t need to rush into anything. But just because I’m fortunate doesn’t mean it’s easy. In fact (and I know this might sound a bit backwards), sometimes I think it would be easier if I had fewer options. Decision-making isn’t exactly my superpower.
I’ve always been someone who gravitates toward the safe option — and honestly, I’ve made peace with that. I’ve come to realise that I’m a professional overthinker. I like plans, I like backup plans, and I really like safety nets. I’m the kind of person who needs to know everything (inside and out) before going into an exam, because even if I’ve studied, I’ll still panic and forget my own name if I don’t feel fully prepared. So yeah — preparation? It’s not just important to me. It’s my emotional support system.
That said, just because I like preparation doesn’t mean I’m always great at actually doing it. If it’s planning a holiday or a day out with friends? I’m all over it. Colour-coded itinerary? Yes please. But let’s be real — most types of preparation aren’t exactly thrilling. No one gets excited about revising spreadsheets or updating their CV for the 12th time.
Another thing I’ve learned about myself? I have a slight tendency toward laziness — or as I like to call it, “selective motivation.” It’s something I’m actively working on. I’m trying to build better discipline, because let’s face it, I am not someone who thrives on last-minute chaos. Flying by the seat of my pants? Sounds cool in theory… but in practice, it’s mostly just me mildly panicking and Googling things I should’ve known three days ago.
And this all really ties into the whole big life changes thing. When you’re thinking about moving, changing careers, or basically reinventing your life, you can’t just wing it — well, I can’t anyway. These are the kinds of changes that need a bit of structure, a few lists, and ideally some snacks to get through the mental load. For me, preparation is how I turn overwhelming into manageable — and how I turn daydreams into actual decisions.
That said, the thing that’s really freaking me out right now is… what if I make the wrong decision? I’ve got all these amazing people around me, supporting me, cheering me on — and that’s incredible — but there’s still this voice in the back of my mind whispering, “What if you choose wrong? What if you completely mess it up?”
It’s that classic fear: making a big move and it all going sideways. And yes, I know that’s part of the deal with change — there are no guarantees — but still, the idea of getting it wrong? Terrifying. Especially when it feels like you’ve finally been handed the steering wheel and don’t want to accidentally drive into a ditch.
But maybe that’s where the real work lies — in learning to trust myself. Trusting that even if I don’t get it exactly right the first time, I’ll figure it out. That I’ve got the resilience to course-correct, the self-awareness to pivot, and (let’s be honest) enough stubbornness to keep going even when I’m knee-deep in a mild existential crisis.
So I’m trying to lean into that — to trust that I know myself better than I give myself credit for, and that all the thinking (and overthinking) I’ve done means I’m not just making random stabs in the dark. I’m making considered, thoughtful choices… with a healthy dose of “hope this works!”
So if there’s anyone who is following me on this journey, I’m opening the floor up to you…have you ever made a big life decision and worried you were getting it all wrong? How did you learn to trust yourself? Did it come with experience, or was it more of a “fake it ‘til you make it” situation? And if you’ve ever switched careers or moved somewhere totally new — how did you know it was the right call?
Let me know — the comments (and my inner control freak) are wide open.
Speak soon,
M x
...and with it a piece of my soul 
Leave a comment